Fic: Definition (Dark Blue fandom)
Sep. 3rd, 2009 08:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kelly_girl
Title: Definition, sequel to 'To the last drop'
Pairing: Carter/Dean
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: Not mine, no money being made
A/N: New fandom, new people to play with! Thanks to the usual suspects
Summary: In which Dean is an asshole and Carter has mastered the phrase ‘If you love something let it go’
Dean didn’t want this, or he didn’t want to want this. He wanted to be strong, didn’t want to rely on anyone because they always let you down. One day Carter would look at him with disgust, with pity, or with hate, and Dean will break, never able to put himself back together, all the good parts destroyed or stolen by his boss.
Dean scooted out of the bed and got dressed. The sun was coming up and if he stayed he’d do something stupid like wake Carter up and beg him to fuck him, or just touch him and wasn’t that pathetic? He was tougher than that, and as soon as he got home he’d shower and sleep in his own bed. He had the day off so he’d go find some girl to bang and forget how Carter smelled like Dean’s cologne.
“Where you going?”
Dean didn’t jump, but it was close. He finished zipping his jeans and turned around, smirk on his face, mask in place.
“Gotta go take care of some stuff.”
He put his shirt on and ignored Carter, who was watching him, eyes narrowed, a sheet barely hanging onto his hips. He looked warm and safe. At that thought, Dean felt like he might need an intervention.
It was easy in their line of work to get addicted to something. It didn’t have to be drugs or alcohol, and having Carter to himself like this could definitely become something he’d crave and lose all perspective on.
Dean waited for Carter to do something or say something, but he didn’t and Dean quickly finished dressing. Carter’s voice seemed loud in the silence that enveloped them both.
“I didn’t think you were a runner.”
Dean stopped in the bedroom door at those words. He turned and suddenly he was angry, angry at himself, angry at Carter, and angry at some indefinable mess the future held. He pointed a finger at Carter and tried to speak in a way that didn’t sound as crazy as he felt.
“What’s all this supposed to be? Some way to keep me in line, fuck me into obeying you even when you’re being stupid and not thinking straight?”
Carter cocked his head, a faint smirk on his face.
“If it is, apparently I need to work harder.” He sighed and got up, pulling on a pair of boxers and grabbing a tee shirt. “What do you want it to be, Dean?”
Dean laughed in disbelief.
“That doesn’t matter. It’s…you…next you’ll be asking me where our relationship is going!”
Carter sat on the bed and leaned back on his hands. He seemed amused at Dean’s outburst.
“It matters. Unless you think I’m sexually harassing you.” He frowned and teased. “I promise you’ll get that promotion, no matter what.”
Dean almost laughed but he was still mad and confused. Deep down there was fear, but he knew it didn’t show. Acting made up eighty percent of his job and he used his bored dismissive voice to see if it would rile Carter up.
“Can we discuss this later?”
Carter shrugged and stood up. He headed for the bathroom and his bored, dismissive voice was better.
“Fine. Go do what you gotta do.”
Dean took off and tried not to think about the flicker of concern he’d seen in Carter’s eyes. Of course Carter cared about him. He cared about all of them, but if Dean kept messing up, he’d be off the team because Carter was always going to put getting the bad guys first.
He spent the rest of his day running errands, watching TV, and trying not to think about what he could be doing with Carter right now. Around 8 that night he decided to go and get a drink. The bar he picked was okay and the Lakers were playing. One drink turned into three and then Tiffany bought him another.
She was a cute redhead with a wicked sense of humor. He turned on the charm and by the time the game was over they were both ready for a good time. Out behind the bar she licked his ear and bit the lobe as he hiked up her mini skirt and fingered her clit. A few sighs and kisses and he pushed in, glad Tiffany, or was it Tawny?, had had a condom in her purse.
Afterwards she pushed a napkin with her number written on it into his hand, winked, and told him to maybe give her a call sometime. He lost the paper before he even made it back to his apartment. He had the door closed and locked before he sensed someone else. He turned, going for his gun, before spotting Carter sitting on his couch.
Dean took off his jacket and tried to appear sober. He didn’t even question how his boss got inside his apartment. He was tired and his voice was scratchy.
“What do you want?”
Carter didn’t answer. He got up and stepped closer. Dean tried to move around him and head for the kitchen, but a hand on his chest stopped him. His boss and occasional lover leaned closer and sniffed. Dean tried to act like this wasn’t bothering him and that he hadn’t just ruined whatever this thing was he had with Carter.
He met Carter’s eyes and didn’t flinch even as the silence between them stretched out. He breathed a little easier, but didn’t relax when Carter stopped touching him and stepped back. He picked up a beer he’d gotten from Dean’s fridge and took a gulp.
Carter’s voice was quiet and underneath the words there was anger.
“Why don’t you go wash up so we can have that talk.”
It sounded like a request but it was the furthest thing from it. Dean wanted to say no and tell Carter to get out. He knew that if he did, Carter would go and there’d be no mention of this again. They’d continue to work together, but that would be it and that scared him enough to get him in the bathroom for a quick shower. The water took care of the slight buzz he had and got the odor of sex off of him.
He walked back into his living room, wearing a soft pair of black jogging pants. He didn’t see Carter at first but then spotted him over by the window. Dean opened his mouth to say something but what was there to say? Words came anyway.
“I don’t know what you want from me. I keep waiting for you to tell me it‘s over, that it‘s all not worth it.”
Carter turned around and moved closer. Dean looked down at his coffee table, feeling like he should apologize and hating that feeling. He wished he had somewhere to put his hands or had bothered to put on a shirt.
A hand brushed his shoulder as Carter stepped into his personal space. His question was asked softly.
“That you’re not worth it?”
Dean shrugged and shivered when a warm hand covered the back of his neck.
“Look at me.”
Dean looked up and tried to read the look on Carter’s face. The blue eyes held nothing but studied him as if he was the ultimate answer on an exam. Then Carter sighed and pressed one solid kiss to Dean’s lips. They stayed like that for a moment until Dean opened his mouth. Carter kept kissing him until they were both panting. Dean pulled away, gasping.
“You’re not mad? About earlier with that woman?”
Carter licked his lips as if savoring the taste of Dean. He stepped back and took a deep breath.
“Yeah, I’m mad, but I know why you did it.”
Dean crossed his arms over his chest and gave the other man a look that was half curiosity and half smart ass.
“Really? Well, why don’t you share with the class?”
Carter crossed his arms over his chest, in a mirror image of Dean’s stance.
“You got scared. You thought sex was all you could have, and that it’s all I wanted, so you being a typically rebellious asshole, went out and fucked the first woman that smiled at you. But you forgot one thing.”
Dean tried to smirk but he was sure his face looked like some rookie getting his first dressing down from his Captain.
“What did I forget?”
Carter moved closer until his mouth was an inch away from Dean’s.
“I. Don’t. Scare. Easily. You want to run around and stick your dick where it doesn’t belong, so you can tell yourself what we’re doing doesn’t matter? Go ahead. It still doesn’t change the fact that this is more than a buddy fuck and that that terrifies you.”
Dean frowned. “You’d let me do that? Fuck around on you?”
Carter sighed and looked upwards as if he was praying for patience.
“You don’t get it, Dean. I can’t make you be here with me like this. I can give you all sorts of orders when we’re on a case, but after hours I’m not going to try and rein you in when I know that makes you run very quickly in the other direction.”
Anger made Carter’s eyes look bluer than normal. Dean refused to step back, but his hesitation was noticed. Carter shook his head and ran a hand through his hair making it stick up more than usual. He continued.
“If you’re looking for me to get angry and tell you it’s over then you have a long wait. If you think that makes me a stupid mark, then you haven’t been paying enough attention. I won’t put up with it forever, but you need a lot of leeway, and there’s room for both of us to make some mistakes.”
Dean frowned and tried to figure out what this all meant. Apparently he and Carter were still whatever they were, and he’d been forgiven for the back alley fuck. He asked himself if it had been Carter cheating on him, would he have been as forgiving and he knew he wouldn’t. The very fact that he thought of it as ‘cheating’ told Dean he needed to stop deluding himself and face the fact that Carter was important.
He’d been fighting against Carter, job-wise, since the beginning; arguing, disobeying orders, and changing plans, so he’d taken all of that and tried to do it with this other thing they had.
But this wasn’t the job and he could relax and try to let it be what it was, just him and Carter. He smiled, and grabbed a handful of lover’s shirt. He laughed at the brief shock on Carter’s face as he pulled him closer.
“I think I got it, so let’s get to the make-up sex.”
Dean waited impatiently while Carter studied him before smirking and kissing him hard and rough. Their earlier excitement quickly returned and they ended up on the couch, Dean half kneeling over Carter, one hand in Carter’s pants, rubbing and jerking him off.
Just as Carter closed his eyes, Dean stopped and pulled the pants down, taking them and Carter’s shoes off in one quick motion. He slid down until he was between Carter’s knees, the other man’s hard cock right there waiting. He licked and teased until Carter groaned.
Dean took that as a sign to get as much dick in his mouth as he could. He bobbed his head and held on to Carter’s thighs, occasionally giving them a squeeze before using one hand to circle the base of Carter’s cock and stroke up and down. He wanted to savor the taste, but his skin felt too tight and he was happy that they were on the same page. He wanted to celebrate by feeling Carter come right now.
Dean used his other hand to grip his own dick and pump and god, it felt a hundred times better than earlier, and he was going to come in his pants like a horny sixteen-year-old, but he didn’t care. Carter groaned, patted his head and that simple gesture had Dean gasping and coming. He took his mouth off of the other man’s spit-slick cock and laid his head on Carter’s thigh as his entire body jerked with aftershocks.
A hand caressing his jaw made Dean blink sleepily. He started stroking Carter again, strong, rough strokes and the occasional twist on the head with his thumb. Carter’s hand intertwined with his and in minutes, Carter cursed and came, messy and hot.
Dean managed to get up and get on the couch. He leaned on Carter’s shoulder and felt something inside him relax when the other man slung one arm around him and pulled him even closer. They still had problems and there would be more fights, but if they could all end like this, Dean was kind of looking forward to them.
End
Pairing: Carter/Dean
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: Not mine, no money being made
A/N: New fandom, new people to play with! Thanks to the usual suspects
Summary: In which Dean is an asshole and Carter has mastered the phrase ‘If you love something let it go’
Dean didn’t want this, or he didn’t want to want this. He wanted to be strong, didn’t want to rely on anyone because they always let you down. One day Carter would look at him with disgust, with pity, or with hate, and Dean will break, never able to put himself back together, all the good parts destroyed or stolen by his boss.
Dean scooted out of the bed and got dressed. The sun was coming up and if he stayed he’d do something stupid like wake Carter up and beg him to fuck him, or just touch him and wasn’t that pathetic? He was tougher than that, and as soon as he got home he’d shower and sleep in his own bed. He had the day off so he’d go find some girl to bang and forget how Carter smelled like Dean’s cologne.
“Where you going?”
Dean didn’t jump, but it was close. He finished zipping his jeans and turned around, smirk on his face, mask in place.
“Gotta go take care of some stuff.”
He put his shirt on and ignored Carter, who was watching him, eyes narrowed, a sheet barely hanging onto his hips. He looked warm and safe. At that thought, Dean felt like he might need an intervention.
It was easy in their line of work to get addicted to something. It didn’t have to be drugs or alcohol, and having Carter to himself like this could definitely become something he’d crave and lose all perspective on.
Dean waited for Carter to do something or say something, but he didn’t and Dean quickly finished dressing. Carter’s voice seemed loud in the silence that enveloped them both.
“I didn’t think you were a runner.”
Dean stopped in the bedroom door at those words. He turned and suddenly he was angry, angry at himself, angry at Carter, and angry at some indefinable mess the future held. He pointed a finger at Carter and tried to speak in a way that didn’t sound as crazy as he felt.
“What’s all this supposed to be? Some way to keep me in line, fuck me into obeying you even when you’re being stupid and not thinking straight?”
Carter cocked his head, a faint smirk on his face.
“If it is, apparently I need to work harder.” He sighed and got up, pulling on a pair of boxers and grabbing a tee shirt. “What do you want it to be, Dean?”
Dean laughed in disbelief.
“That doesn’t matter. It’s…you…next you’ll be asking me where our relationship is going!”
Carter sat on the bed and leaned back on his hands. He seemed amused at Dean’s outburst.
“It matters. Unless you think I’m sexually harassing you.” He frowned and teased. “I promise you’ll get that promotion, no matter what.”
Dean almost laughed but he was still mad and confused. Deep down there was fear, but he knew it didn’t show. Acting made up eighty percent of his job and he used his bored dismissive voice to see if it would rile Carter up.
“Can we discuss this later?”
Carter shrugged and stood up. He headed for the bathroom and his bored, dismissive voice was better.
“Fine. Go do what you gotta do.”
Dean took off and tried not to think about the flicker of concern he’d seen in Carter’s eyes. Of course Carter cared about him. He cared about all of them, but if Dean kept messing up, he’d be off the team because Carter was always going to put getting the bad guys first.
He spent the rest of his day running errands, watching TV, and trying not to think about what he could be doing with Carter right now. Around 8 that night he decided to go and get a drink. The bar he picked was okay and the Lakers were playing. One drink turned into three and then Tiffany bought him another.
She was a cute redhead with a wicked sense of humor. He turned on the charm and by the time the game was over they were both ready for a good time. Out behind the bar she licked his ear and bit the lobe as he hiked up her mini skirt and fingered her clit. A few sighs and kisses and he pushed in, glad Tiffany, or was it Tawny?, had had a condom in her purse.
Afterwards she pushed a napkin with her number written on it into his hand, winked, and told him to maybe give her a call sometime. He lost the paper before he even made it back to his apartment. He had the door closed and locked before he sensed someone else. He turned, going for his gun, before spotting Carter sitting on his couch.
Dean took off his jacket and tried to appear sober. He didn’t even question how his boss got inside his apartment. He was tired and his voice was scratchy.
“What do you want?”
Carter didn’t answer. He got up and stepped closer. Dean tried to move around him and head for the kitchen, but a hand on his chest stopped him. His boss and occasional lover leaned closer and sniffed. Dean tried to act like this wasn’t bothering him and that he hadn’t just ruined whatever this thing was he had with Carter.
He met Carter’s eyes and didn’t flinch even as the silence between them stretched out. He breathed a little easier, but didn’t relax when Carter stopped touching him and stepped back. He picked up a beer he’d gotten from Dean’s fridge and took a gulp.
Carter’s voice was quiet and underneath the words there was anger.
“Why don’t you go wash up so we can have that talk.”
It sounded like a request but it was the furthest thing from it. Dean wanted to say no and tell Carter to get out. He knew that if he did, Carter would go and there’d be no mention of this again. They’d continue to work together, but that would be it and that scared him enough to get him in the bathroom for a quick shower. The water took care of the slight buzz he had and got the odor of sex off of him.
He walked back into his living room, wearing a soft pair of black jogging pants. He didn’t see Carter at first but then spotted him over by the window. Dean opened his mouth to say something but what was there to say? Words came anyway.
“I don’t know what you want from me. I keep waiting for you to tell me it‘s over, that it‘s all not worth it.”
Carter turned around and moved closer. Dean looked down at his coffee table, feeling like he should apologize and hating that feeling. He wished he had somewhere to put his hands or had bothered to put on a shirt.
A hand brushed his shoulder as Carter stepped into his personal space. His question was asked softly.
“That you’re not worth it?”
Dean shrugged and shivered when a warm hand covered the back of his neck.
“Look at me.”
Dean looked up and tried to read the look on Carter’s face. The blue eyes held nothing but studied him as if he was the ultimate answer on an exam. Then Carter sighed and pressed one solid kiss to Dean’s lips. They stayed like that for a moment until Dean opened his mouth. Carter kept kissing him until they were both panting. Dean pulled away, gasping.
“You’re not mad? About earlier with that woman?”
Carter licked his lips as if savoring the taste of Dean. He stepped back and took a deep breath.
“Yeah, I’m mad, but I know why you did it.”
Dean crossed his arms over his chest and gave the other man a look that was half curiosity and half smart ass.
“Really? Well, why don’t you share with the class?”
Carter crossed his arms over his chest, in a mirror image of Dean’s stance.
“You got scared. You thought sex was all you could have, and that it’s all I wanted, so you being a typically rebellious asshole, went out and fucked the first woman that smiled at you. But you forgot one thing.”
Dean tried to smirk but he was sure his face looked like some rookie getting his first dressing down from his Captain.
“What did I forget?”
Carter moved closer until his mouth was an inch away from Dean’s.
“I. Don’t. Scare. Easily. You want to run around and stick your dick where it doesn’t belong, so you can tell yourself what we’re doing doesn’t matter? Go ahead. It still doesn’t change the fact that this is more than a buddy fuck and that that terrifies you.”
Dean frowned. “You’d let me do that? Fuck around on you?”
Carter sighed and looked upwards as if he was praying for patience.
“You don’t get it, Dean. I can’t make you be here with me like this. I can give you all sorts of orders when we’re on a case, but after hours I’m not going to try and rein you in when I know that makes you run very quickly in the other direction.”
Anger made Carter’s eyes look bluer than normal. Dean refused to step back, but his hesitation was noticed. Carter shook his head and ran a hand through his hair making it stick up more than usual. He continued.
“If you’re looking for me to get angry and tell you it’s over then you have a long wait. If you think that makes me a stupid mark, then you haven’t been paying enough attention. I won’t put up with it forever, but you need a lot of leeway, and there’s room for both of us to make some mistakes.”
Dean frowned and tried to figure out what this all meant. Apparently he and Carter were still whatever they were, and he’d been forgiven for the back alley fuck. He asked himself if it had been Carter cheating on him, would he have been as forgiving and he knew he wouldn’t. The very fact that he thought of it as ‘cheating’ told Dean he needed to stop deluding himself and face the fact that Carter was important.
He’d been fighting against Carter, job-wise, since the beginning; arguing, disobeying orders, and changing plans, so he’d taken all of that and tried to do it with this other thing they had.
But this wasn’t the job and he could relax and try to let it be what it was, just him and Carter. He smiled, and grabbed a handful of lover’s shirt. He laughed at the brief shock on Carter’s face as he pulled him closer.
“I think I got it, so let’s get to the make-up sex.”
Dean waited impatiently while Carter studied him before smirking and kissing him hard and rough. Their earlier excitement quickly returned and they ended up on the couch, Dean half kneeling over Carter, one hand in Carter’s pants, rubbing and jerking him off.
Just as Carter closed his eyes, Dean stopped and pulled the pants down, taking them and Carter’s shoes off in one quick motion. He slid down until he was between Carter’s knees, the other man’s hard cock right there waiting. He licked and teased until Carter groaned.
Dean took that as a sign to get as much dick in his mouth as he could. He bobbed his head and held on to Carter’s thighs, occasionally giving them a squeeze before using one hand to circle the base of Carter’s cock and stroke up and down. He wanted to savor the taste, but his skin felt too tight and he was happy that they were on the same page. He wanted to celebrate by feeling Carter come right now.
Dean used his other hand to grip his own dick and pump and god, it felt a hundred times better than earlier, and he was going to come in his pants like a horny sixteen-year-old, but he didn’t care. Carter groaned, patted his head and that simple gesture had Dean gasping and coming. He took his mouth off of the other man’s spit-slick cock and laid his head on Carter’s thigh as his entire body jerked with aftershocks.
A hand caressing his jaw made Dean blink sleepily. He started stroking Carter again, strong, rough strokes and the occasional twist on the head with his thumb. Carter’s hand intertwined with his and in minutes, Carter cursed and came, messy and hot.
Dean managed to get up and get on the couch. He leaned on Carter’s shoulder and felt something inside him relax when the other man slung one arm around him and pulled him even closer. They still had problems and there would be more fights, but if they could all end like this, Dean was kind of looking forward to them.
End
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2010-09-18 01:07 pm (UTC)Thank you for sharing! :)
no subject
Date: 2011-10-26 06:54 am (UTC)dean and his man pain
Perfect. Like seriously, I don't think I've come across a more angsty character. Set of characters. I love them. I miss them.
Please write more omg?