Blehhhh

Was supposed to do the rooming in thing with AJ tonite but they called earlier today and cancelled it because he had a spell and they want to do X-rays in the morning to see if he's having reflux. The guy delivered the oxygen and apnea monitor on Thursday.

Big possibility that even if he doesn't have reflux, we won't get to do the room in thing for another five days. That really depressed me. I was so excited (and anxious, very anxious) and I've been getting the house ready with the cleaning and washing and dusting. I cleaned the ceiling fans. And now he can't come home yet. So I'm bummed because I really feel vague and unconnected with him. I don't know his habits, what little quirks he has(besides passing gas while he sucks on his bottle) and it makes me feel guilty and nervous. I was really looking forward to just holding him and bathing him and being his mom. I get so tired of the hospital setting.

Hubster tried to cheer me up by taking me to see X3 but they were sold out.

I'll probably be more positive tomorrow or something but right now I'm just really blah blah blahhhhhhhh.